Why Keep Carrying What Forgiveness Can Release?

Recently, I did something that wasn’t easy for me. I looked someone in the eyes and asked for their forgiveness. Now, let me tell you—this wasn’t one of those “just saying it because it’s the right thing to do” kind of apologies. No, this was the kind that came from deep down, where the truth sits heavy until you finally let it out. And you know what I noticed? The moment I truly meant those words, I felt lighter. Almost like a weight I didn’t even realize I was dragging around had been lifted.

That’s the thing about unforgiveness. It holds weight. Heavy, dragging, exhausting weight. The kind of weight that doesn’t just stay in one corner of your life—it seeps into everything. Your peace? Weighted. Your joy? Weighted. Your relationships? Weighted. You can’t carry unforgiveness in one hand and expect the other hand to be free to grab hold of what God has for you.

Think about this: what if your breakthrough—the very thing you’ve been praying, fasting, and crying out for—is sitting right on the other side of that unforgiveness you’re still holding on to? We like to think unforgiveness is only about the other person, but let’s be real: unforgiveness is a prison, and the person it locks up the tightest is you.

Sometimes pride whispers, “I wasn’t even the problem.” Shame shouts, “They don’t deserve my forgiveness.” And then stubbornness steps in with, “Why should I be the one to fix this?” But can I tell you something? Forgiveness isn’t about who deserves it—it’s about who needs to be free. And that, my friend, is you.

Unforgiveness is sneaky. It will have you carrying around offense like it’s a badge of honor, when really it’s just a burden. It will keep you rehearsing old conversations, reliving past hurts, and rehashing every single wrong, all while robbing you of the peace you deserve today. It’s like playing a song on repeat that you’re sick of hearing, but instead of hitting stop, you just let it loop until you’re drained.

But forgiveness? Forgiveness breaks the chains. It’s the release that opens the cage. It’s the moment you say, “I refuse to let this hold me anymore.” And the beauty is, you don’t even need the other person’s permission to forgive. Sometimes they may never apologize. Sometimes they may not even acknowledge what they did. But that doesn’t stop you from letting go and giving that weight back to God.

And here’s the beautiful part: when both of you can truly forgive each other at the same time, that’s when something even more powerful happens. God honors forgiveness. Scripture tells us in Matthew 18:19, “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.” Forgiveness can be one-sided, yes, but when two people agree to look each other in the eyes and genuinely let it go—oh, what a freeing, beautiful life that opens up for both hearts. That’s not just reconciliation—that’s God moving.

Ephesians 4:31-32 reminds us: “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Notice it doesn’t say, “forgive if they ask nicely,” or “forgive if they finally admit they were wrong.” It simply says—forgive.

So here’s my encouragement today: don’t let pride, shame, or stubbornness keep you from the peace that’s waiting for you. Don’t let unforgiveness weigh down your soul any longer. If you need to make that phone call, send that text, or even just pray that prayer in your heart, do it. And when you do, watch how light you feel, how free you breathe, and how open your life becomes for the blessings you’ve been waiting for.

Because here’s the truth—unforgiveness holds weight, but forgiveness breaks the chains and makes you free.

A little Tonyelle truth for the road:

Forgiveness doesn’t erase what happened—it erases the power it has over you.

Let’s Pray About It:

Lord, help us to release every heavy weight of unforgiveness. Teach us to lay down pride, shame, and stubbornness so that we can walk in Your peace. And God, where it’s possible, let forgiveness flow both ways so that reconciliation brings glory to Your name. Thank You for forgiving us daily, even when we don’t deserve it. May we honor You by extending that same grace to others. In Jesus’ name, amen.

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