Finding Joy When Joy Feels Out of Reach: Navigating the Holiday Season

The holidays. Just saying the word can stir up a mix of emotions, can’t it? For some, it’s the happiest time of the year, full of twinkling lights, laughter, and cozy gatherings. For others, it’s a season that feels heavy—like everyone else is singing in harmony while you’re struggling to find your note. And let me tell you something: if that’s where you are, it’s okay. You’re not alone in feeling out of sync with the joy that seems to fill the air.

The truth is, joy doesn’t always come easy, and that’s not something to feel ashamed of. Life is hard, and sometimes the holidays amplify the struggles we’re already carrying. Maybe you’ve experienced a loss this year, or the weight of unmet expectations is pressing down. Perhaps you’re simply exhausted from trying to hold everything together. Friend, it’s okay to take a deep breath, acknowledge where you are, and sit with those feelings for a moment. You don’t have to fake a smile to make this season meaningful.

Here’s the thing about joy: it doesn’t have to be loud and glittery. Sometimes, joy is found in the quietest corners. It’s in the warmth of a blanket on a chilly night or the way a candle flickers in the dark. It’s in that first sip of coffee in the morning or the sound of a loved one’s voice on the other end of the phone. Joy doesn’t have to be big or bold—it just has to be real. When we redefine joy as something small and personal, we start to see it everywhere, even in the midst of hard times.

One way to reignite that spark of joy is by leaning into connection. When life feels overwhelming, it’s easy to isolate ourselves. But reaching out—a quick call, a simple text, or even sharing a smile with a stranger—can remind us that we’re not alone. Connection has a way of lifting the fog, showing us that even when life feels heavy, we’re held by the people who care for us and, most importantly, by a God who loves us deeply.

And let’s talk about those unrealistic holiday expectations for a moment, shall we? The perfect table settings, the endless parties, the meticulously wrapped gifts—it can all be so draining. Here’s your permission slip to do less this year. Focus on what matters most to you, not what you feel obligated to do. Maybe that means skipping the big gathering and having a quiet evening at home, or perhaps it’s saying no to something that feels more stressful than joyful. You deserve a holiday season that feels good for your soul.

When joy feels distant, anchoring yourself spiritually can make all the difference. Dive into scripture or spend time in prayer, letting God’s truth wash over you. One verse that has been my rock during tough seasons is Isaiah 41:10: “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isn’t that beautiful? Even when we feel unsteady, He promises to uphold us. Lean into that promise. Let it be your anchor.

Lastly, don’t underestimate the power of gratitude. I know, I know—it sounds a little overdone, but hear me out. Gratitude doesn’t mean ignoring your pain; it means choosing to see the small blessings amidst it. Start with one thing each day. Maybe it’s the way the sun peeked through the clouds or the sound of laughter in the background. As you notice these little moments, you may find that joy starts to bloom in your heart again, little by little.

And so, as you navigate this holiday season, remember that it’s okay to not feel okay. Joy doesn’t have to be a constant state; it can be something you build slowly, one small step at a time. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself grace. And know that even when joy feels far away, hope is always within reach.

A Prayer for the Season

Lord, in a season filled with light and joy, sometimes it’s hard to feel those things in our hearts. Help us to find You in the quiet moments, to feel Your presence when life feels heavy, and to embrace the small joys You’ve placed around us. Thank You for walking with us through every season, even the hard ones. Amen.